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Friday, March 17, 2006
Green Day
Bill Maher has been a favorite person of mine for some time. These were his closing remarks on his show the other night:
Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend—you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard is bare, and the credit cards maxed out. No one is speaking to you. Mission accomplished.” “Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Just like you did with your military service, the oil company and the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you’re saying: there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don’t. I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do.
There’s a war with Venezuela, Eliminating the sales tax on yachts, Turning the space program over to the church, handing over Social Security to Fannie Mae, and giving embryos the vote.” “But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.” “On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you’re just not lucky. I’m not saying you don’t love this country. I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.” “So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’ The above was received from Sibling.
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