Thursday, July 09, 2009

The Mar Age

This posting is intended to clarify any misunderstandings of the last "Mar" posting. Please visit this posting frequently for updates in black. I was first married from 7/18/92 - 5/9/03. I refer to those as the "Laurie Years". "Mar Age" is referring my current relationship and the subject of our marriage. Marriage to me is an official commitment to an exclusive indefinite relationship. Mar is the person I want to do this with. We love, value, and cherish each other.

As an NT, marriage has an emotional importance to Mar. She also wants a wedding, as that brings her joy and does have meaning to her and family. I am learning that this love relationship is not quantifiable. For this reason I want to give and tolerate these two events, and give her a ring. This, and the ceremony are more symbolic and or romantic, rather that religious, spiritual, or legal. The ring will also communicate to others of her pride and commitment to me. Communication, rather than tradition, is important to me. Click here for how I feel about weddings.

I sold my homes, and moved from NYC to FL, for increased quality of living that is much better suited for my lifestyle. I am also saving a bunch of money on my car insurance. Due to my financial and Aspie situation, I purchased a home with getting a roommate in mind. Ideally, I would use this as a vehicle to find a mate, or at least a companion and or friend. My plan, work, decisions, and executions were very successful. I am proud of my enviable achievements.

I am grateful to Mar for her great love, respect, pleasure and care that she gives me. I never had someone in my life who understands herself, NTs, and who also has great capacity to express herself and to discuss emotional issues in an intellectual manner. I have always craved a guide and lieson in this alien NT world. This is reason to marry Mar.

I have been writing of my quandary in this ironic situation I find myself in. When I am facetious, I am sometimes misunderstood. I mean no offence. Mar has been my Tenant, Roommate, and source of rental income. Is eviction no longer an option? What happens when the term of our rental agreement is over? Do I divorce her if she does not pay me rent? Should I pay it if she can not? Does she become a co-Landlord? Does marriage violate or nullify the roommate agreement? Must we continue to restrict ourselves to our assigned rooms? We currently refer to another as our "Partner".

Mar has helped me make my very first home here. I am very happy with the choices I have made with her sister's help. I now have my first dining room set, and know how to furnish a living room. Her sister facilitated the furniture and furnishings that I needed and wanted for many years. My home now reflects my taste and style. I am proud of the great work I have been doing for myself. My furniture meets my specifications and standards. I wanted and needed a new EC for my the new TV that I demanded. I finally have the dining set that I needed and wanted, and serves my needs. My decisions are only my own. I am now in Lake Mary during the Mar Age.

Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968)
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2 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

okay - now this is romantic!

Unknown said...

Andrew,

Congratulations on getting married. Hope all the best for you and your betrothed. Do yourself a favor and get a PRE NUP!

All the best!

Alan